My song ‘At Our Tree’ is a picture of marriage - its ebbs and flows, its winding seasons. Life will inevitably come with all its pressures and pulls and tugs.
This is not the problem; this is a normal result of two dynamic lives, hearts and dreams merging into one. Part of the art of making a marriage work is learning how to find your way back to each other, finding common ground and meeting in the middle.
This song has been a sweet reminder to me of how important it is to remember what love feels like when the feeling seems distant, to remember what laughing feels like together when life seems too serious, to remember the sweetness of the day we made vows to stick together through it all. Remembering is essential to sustaining love.
My husband and I were married in a garden beside a beautiful oak tree. The ‘aisle’ I walked down wove in and out of flowers as I slowly made my way to where the guests were sitting. When I reached the back row of chairs I paused beside the oak tree and waited for Ted to walk up the aisle to meet me. He took my arm and together we finished the procession up to the front of the oak tree cathedral where the priest was waiting for us and all our guests were watching.
About 3 months after we were married we had our first big disagreement and I remember feeling so distant from him. I did not want to move toward him. Instead I crawled up in our attic and quietly cried. Later, as I often do when life is rearing its ugly head, I sat at the piano to process. I began thinking about our wedding and how we both had to walk towards each other, meet in the middle and then begin to walk together. It struck me how this is a poignant picture of marriage, learning the art of coming together, of meeting in the middle, of walking together. It won’t work if we are stuck and determined to each go our own way.
This song has been a sweet gentle reminder to us over the years. (And yes we’ve used these lyrics on each other more than once!) And I’m so grateful for the many stories you all have shared with me of how this song has helped you reconcile in your own marriages as well. We are all learning together. I’m glad to be on this journey of life with you.
Here’s to the sweetness of remembering…